Apps that need to exist:
Updatr Updatr uses your other social profiles to automate your Facebook updates. For example, Updatr pulls from your LinkedIn to automate updates about how no one in any other departments gets anything done, and how your coworkers are all morons. Updatr also finds your weather, localized by your recent checkins, before sharing a randomized comment on how depressing rain is, or how lame it is that you have to work when it’s so nice out.
Version 1.8 checks your marital status to create updates about awful in-laws, and checking the “City Resident” option will replace “Seriously, no one in *hometown* can drive!” with “Late again. Thanks, *local transit authority*!”